Are you an Ace, a Rimmer, or an Arthur Kade? (the eye of the beholder is mostly in your mind)

After first impressions, a person's looks have so much to do with attitude that a person's face can actually change...you can see them differently if their personality is strong enough.

I remember when I was about 17 and was in a church group for a short while (parents thought it might make me quit being such a pain in the ass or something...) and a new guy was introduced to the group about 3 weeks after I got there. My first thought was how absolutely ugly he was. I remember thinking I really didn't want to have to keep looking at him, and that the group I didn't want to be in just got worse. But within two weeks every girl wanted him, including me. He was confident, funny, knew how to compliment others in a sincere way, he knew how to look you in the eye, and how to make you feel at ease. Then I couldn't figure out why I thought he was ugly in the first place. I stared and stared and couldn't see it.

Perception of looks going from bad to "Hey behby!" happened other times in my life but never to that degree. I am actually glad that shock of awareness happened when I was about that age because it taught me to pay closer attention to the person and not be so damn shallow.

It works in the opposite way as well though! You can have a personality or attitude so vapid or vile that good looks become a Picasso painting. "Bedroom eyes" become the hooded eyes of an idiot. "A Grecian nose" becomes enormous and crooked. " Thick curly hair" becomes a greasy rat's nest that you notice is thinning in the back. The face becomes misshapen: chin too big, lips uneven, ears too small...all because the person is a nasty bugger. A prime example:

Arthur Kade spends most of his time hyping his (absolutely unwarranted) self-worth in hopes of finding some actual worth from it. He spends the rest of his time tearing down the looks of others and glorifying his own. He has a rating scale for women, from 3 - 10 and uses it endlessly (his misogyny is overwhelming)...if you are below a 6 don't even talk to him, if you are below a 3, I think he runs away screaming or tries to get you fired from your job as a waitress (he has twice said women were too ugly to serve him food) . Despite his insistence to the contrary, he is not funny, he has no acting talent (but plans to have an Oscar within the next two years?), does not live a fabulous celebrity lifestyle, but he streams his 'greatness' out on his blog and youtube like a broken gutter. People from all walks of life, age groups, genders, religions and political affiliations [who have been lead to his site through various means like this one here] seem to agree on one thing at least...Arthur is an ugly person once he starts typing or opens his mouth. (the spit problem doesn't help either)

[adendum: One of Kade's self-quote inanities went up a few days after I first posted this as a link on legowig--
"“If Arthur Kade was a gutter, he would drain brilliance”…Arthur Kade…04/02/10"  He does pay attention.]

-The first impression of Arthur-

-How I now see Arthur-

Most people, when they first stumble across him, think he is a joke or an elaborate put-on, because no one could be that bad. But he has been doing this for over a year, day in and out, so even if it started out as an act he would be pretty whack-a-fucking-doodle by now.

Has anyone seen "Red Dwarf" -- the English sci/fi comedy series? There is a perfect example of this personality-looks effect in that show. Chris Barrie plays Arnold Rimmer; a sniveling, cowardly, desperate, narcissistic creep. But he also plays Ace in a few episodes -- Rimmer's other self from an alternate reality. Ace is dashing, kind, caring, brave, thoughtful, and an all around good guy. It is more than a clothing change and hair-length difference that have you wanting to be with one, and to hit the other.

Anyhow, I am not trying to drum up more hate for Kade because any attention is better than no attention at all in his twisted mind. But I do want it to be a cautionary tale/thought of hope that "Pretty really IS as pretty does."