Touch My Monkey

In a bit of absurdity (serious as it is to some)...

In case you need to travel with your helper monkey through airspace, here are a few things that you need to know about security (but leave home with lots of time to spare)...

*When the handler and service monkey go through the walk through metal detector and the detector alarms, both the handler and the monkey must undergo additional screening. [it might be a knife throwing circus monkey in reality -- you really do have to be careful]

*Since service monkeys may likely draw attention [slow down everyone else getting through security, what with the rubber-necking], the handler will be escorted to the physical inspection area where a table is available for the monkey to sit on. Only the handler will touch or interact with the service monkey. [they can bite off a finger]

*Security Officers have been trained to not touch the service monkey during the screening process  [insurance probably doesn't cover monkey ravaging]

*Security Officers will conduct a visual inspection on the service monkey and will coach the handler on how to hold the monkey during the visual inspection.  [this is why a prehensile tail comes in useful]

*The inspection process may require that the handler to take off the monkey’s diaper as part of the visual inspection. [treat the monkey nicely or it may use the contents of its diaper in protest]

Brackets are mine.

thanks BoingBoing for the link to the TSA special needs page.